The Boats Have Burned--And The Heat Are Onto The Finals

You know what, Dwyane Wade is done. The Heat need to amnesty him, get rid of his contract and his play; his knee is gone, he's old, he's a dirty player, and he needs to go. And Bosh? Bosh should be traded. Does CHRIS BOSH deserve 17 mill a year for this? He's not good at all. Ray Allen is done. Can't hit a three. He's basically dead. And he wants to opt-out and end his career in Boston anyway. He sucks, what a waste and a traitor. Lebron's going to Cleveland after next season anyway so what does it matter? He wants nothing to do with this disappointment of a team. Coach Spoelstra? Gone. He sucks, useless. Who could possibly think that small ball would work? Who? Ship him back to whatever country he came from and put Pat Riley back in there, even though he's been collecting social security for 15 years. It's over.

What? Oh--wait--the Heat won? They beat the Indiana Pacers in game 7? But the Pacers were bigger and taller and cared more! They were clearly the better team and ruled the boards. The beat the heat 5 of the last 9 matchups! What? You mean Chris Bosh grabbed 8 rebounds? Dwyane Wade scored 21 points and grabbed 9 boards, including 5 offensive rebounds? Ray Allen went 3-6 for 10 points, hitting his first three three-pointers? The Heat forced 21 turnovers and out-rebounded the Pacers 43-36? What?

Guys, you hear that? You hear that silence? That silence is the sound of Bill Simmons. That's Brian Windhorst over there. Pacers radio broadcasters and Reggie Miller, Steve Kerr, and Marv Albert? There over there, yep. Colin Cowherd has situated himself down in that corner. ESPN actually has there own space there, and Twitter is right in the center here. It's quiet, isn't it? The haters have gone, haven't they? Those calling for the break-up of the Big Three and the ending of Dwyane Wade's career have no words right now, none. And oh is that silence sweet.

The Miami Heat not only silenced the critics by taking game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals, they destroyed with fire and ice the collective anus' of the Indiana Pacers, winning 99-76 in a game that was much less closer than that. The Pacers and their fans now only have images of their own team's death in their minds alongside the deaths of the majority of the Stark family, killed only the night before at a wedding. For some reason, this song permeates their brains.

Dwyane Wade silenced all critics, including kinda me, by going 7-16 from the field and being an animal all of the court, going after lose balls, grabbing rebounds on both ends, forcing turnovers, and doing that thing he's done for ten seasons where he puts this little orange ball into a round hoop. Why do we doubt you, MV3? Why do we say you are old and broken and selfish? Why do we call for you to go away forever? Why? When all you've ever done is give us some of the most memorable sports experiences ever. You know what y'all, I think Dwyane has earned himself a pass. A pass forever, earned in fact a long time ago. No more, ever, will this blog call Dwyane any of these bad things or call for him to produce more. Never will I ask for him to leave this team, play less, shoot less, or care more. Because when it matters, when it truly matters, Wade has never shrunk. EVER. And that's why he is MV3. And that's why he is our hero.

The Heat played tonight as they did during the 27-game win streak, when there was no mercy and towns were pillaged and burned to the ground just so these twelve men could do as they please in a game of basketball. And this game, for a moment, for the first time in awhile, it came back. If the Heat played this like from game 1 on, this series would have been over in 5 or 6. But why do we worry? Why do we fear? This Heat team has Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, and the 4-time MVP Lebron Freaking James. And we doubt. We are stupid. And we are not worthy.

Lebron went 32, 8, and 4 in this game, shooting 8-17 and 15-16 from the charity stripe. He's averaged 33.8 points in game sevens in his career, the most in history, even more than Michael Jordan (he's still not clutch, though, right?) .Yep. So yeah. He's the king.

In all objectivity, this series was annoying but also played very well by the Pacers. They're a good, young team who's quite literally designed to take down this Heat team. Thank God, they didn't. No more do we have to deal with Lance Stephenson and his punk-ass talking crap or blowing in our MVP's ear. No more do we have to see stupid David West facial expressions. No more Beaker. No more verticality (WHICH ISN'T EVEN A WORD) and superstar calls for some dude that averaged 12 and 9 this season. It's over. It's done. And we are still the champions, for now.

Next up is the San Antonio Spurs, the legendary dynasty led by Greg Popovich and their own, aging Big Three of Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, and Manu Ginobli. Miami actually matches up better with the Spurs than they did in this series, and if this aggressiveness and ass-kicking shown in game 7 continues into the Finals, then you might just see a repeat of last year's finals. But even if it goes 7, even if the Heat were down and faced multiple eliminations, even if all looks lost--can you honestly doubt that this team will get it done?