Dolphins Trade Up To 3 And Pick Dion Jordan From Oregon

So Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland and Co. did something very, very odd and traded up to the third pick in the draft to pick up OLB/DE and pass-rushing freak Dion Jordan from Oregon. This is so weird that I don't have much to say about it. I do have a few thoughts.

1. The Dolphins only gave up the 42nd pick in the draft, even though they moved up 9 spots. Granted, they traded with the Raiders, which makes this bone-headed trade not the least surprising. Hooray for the ghost of Al Davis!

2. Dion Jordan is not a position of need. Well, not a huge one. Everybody who has seen the Dolphins play at least one series on offense and defense notice two things: they don't score touchdowns and they only have one playmaker. That playmaker happens to be Cameron Wake, who turns right tackles into babies and then punts them before eating quarterbacks. But other than that, the Dolphins have a pass rush similar to the Miami Hurricanes, which means they'd rather take passing downs off on defense than anything else. So Dion Jordan provides another freak of nature to run at Tom Brady twice a year.

This does, however, pretty much solve our defensive tackle problem. Paul Soliai's contract is done after next season and Randy Starks is franchise tagged. Most think that the Phins won't be able to afford both, so this allows the Dolphins to pick one, slide Jared Odrick (the other DE we traded a first round pick for, except that time it was lower in the draft) to DT, and turn Dion Jordan into a 3-down player instead of a situation pass-rusher, which is 3rd overall pick status suggests.

3. The Dolphins ONLY GAVE UP A SECOND ROUNDER. This is so incredibly ridiculous and makes this thing worth it.

4. Jordan reminds me a lot of Giants pro bowl DE Jason Pierre-Paul, who the Dolphins pass on to trade down and draft Jared Odrick, who's only known for that weird Pee-wee Herman dance. A skinnier freak of nature that can sack the quarterback. Oh yeah, and he also reminds me of that guy called Jason Taylor, the Miami Dolphins legend and future Hall of Famer who people doubted because he was too small to play defensive end in the NFL. I'd say his career ended up OK.


So yeah, this is such a shocking move by the Dolphins and their love for being conservative and terrible. It does fit their pattern of liking fat dudes, though. But Jordan is very skinny for playing a fat dude position. So again, what the hell?

Stay tuned for the finality of the Brandon "Fat" Albert drama and what the Dolphins do with their other second round pick.

New Miami Dolphins Unis Leaked

Not supposed to come out until tomorrow, the new Miami Dolphins uniforms have leaked accidentally during the reveal of the new Jacksonville Jaguars uniforms.

The most noticeable changes of the uniforms are the white facemask, the bold blue stripe without orange down the helmet, and a more blue stripe down the pant leg. And, of course, the new logo on the helmet. The new uniforms are sleek and more classic than the previous ones and look fairly, well, boring. Not to say that I don't like them. Better than that new logo where the dolphin looks like its trying to rename the phrase "doggy style."

In more exciting (or worrisome) news, the draft starts at 8:00pm tomorrow, Thursday, April 24th. Here's to the Phins not drafting a fat guy with the first pick!

The Miami Dolphins' New Logo Leaked

Just two days after Dolphins CEO Mike Dee announced that on April 25th the Miami Dolphins' new logo and uniforms would be unveiled, a NFL.com mishap leaked the logo today, although Dee blamed it on Nike.

The new logo, for the first time, features a Dolphin whose tail is pointed upwards jumping through the sunburst rather than down, as it happened in the previous logo. This is the fourth time the logo has been changed, the first since 1997. While the old logo changes featured a progressively more mean-looking Dolphin and increasingly bolder colors, the new Dolphins brass felt it necessary to make the Dolphin less mean and go back to more of the original aqua and orange. 

I personally disliked the last logo, so I can't find too much room to complain; however, I will anyway. While I like the new color scheme and, well, never mind, that's about it. The fact that the new Dolphin looks alarmingly like a Nike swoosh and no longer wears an "M" helmet frankly pisses me off. What makes Steve Ross and his band of clowns think that they can emasculate my Dolphin? Huh? The only thing that fits here is that the Dolphin no longer looks like a cartoon that would appear on Nickelodeon. 

This is apparently the sleeve of the new jerseys. This is DE Jared Odrick sporting Dolphins gear with the new logo. And this is Dan Marino approving of the new look:  

Saw the new @miamidolphins logo. Followed the development stage & now its great to see the finished product. #NewEraNewLook #13Approved
— Dan Marino (@DanMarino) March 27, 2013

At least there's that.

In other Fins news, the team signed former Chicago Bears guard Lance Louis, apparently to be, or at least compete for, the new RG. This guy just came off of knee surgery.

God I hate this team. Now back to the Heat game.

Dolphins Open Free Agency With A Splash

Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland just did that thing where he tried to cover up mistakes from the past.

This time he actually spent money to do it.

The Dolphins opened up the beginning of the NFL Free Agency period yesterday with a big fat spending bang, signing Steelers star WR Mike Wallace to a whopping reported 5 year, $60 million deal. But Ireland and Phins owner Steve Ross, who apparently let their wives take over for the day rather than their frugal, acorn-loving selves, weren't done, signing blossoming star LB Dannell Ellerbe (a pain in the backside to spell) away from the Super Bowl Champions Baltimore Ravens and 100+ tackle season OLB Philip Wheeler from Oakland.

Of course, this means that Miami spent about 50 bagajillion dollars yesterday, slightly above their reported cap space. So cuts had to be made. Ireland showed no remorse, texting "best linebacker in the league" MLB Karlos Dansby that he was no longer required to be overrated for the Dolphins and also releasing steady but old and slow contributer Kevin Burnett. With these two unexpected LB swaps, the Dolphins got younger, more promising, and more cap room. Sounds like a great move...WAT?

Here's what I say on Wallace--the dude can flat out ball and has averaged EIGHT touchdowns a season over his career. The Dolphins AS A GROUP scored three in 2012. So, yeah. Of course, 65 million and 30 in guaranteed dollars is quite a bit for a sometimes-disgruntled WR, but how can we harp on Ireland for making a risk, realizing his mistakes (the Wallace-Ellerbe signings mirror the 2008 Marshall-Dansby mistakes from Free Agency) and making a statement with these young, in-their-prime, and talented players? Answer: you can't.

We should all be weary of these pick-ups. Nothing is as good as advertised with the Miami Dolphins. We know this. In fact, we will probably draft a fat guy with our 12th overall pick come April. HOWEVER. The Dolphins still have $20 million in cap room with room to create by cutting or restructuring contracts. The team still has glaring holes, particularly at tackle, cornerback, safety, and tight end. But luckily for us, there are particularly talented free agents at each of those positions this year! Plus, the draft (which we shouldn't hang our hats on honestly...).

So look for more big Jeffy Jeffy Jeff Ireland dancing moves in FA this spring. This ain't over bihh.